This is the moment. The moment where time freezes. Looking at everyone around me. Smiles frozen on their faces, body movements stopped. As I look around, as time its self has stopped I think back to the club. We had finished dancing and we had plenty to drink. It was time to leave. We get to the door and I am stopped. My shoulder grabbed by someone from behind. Who? I turn around slowly and look him in the eyes. My buddy. My friend. He had stopped me.
"One second man. I know one of the bouncers."
I gave a nod after the couple seconds it took me to understand what he was saying. The music was still blasting. My other buddy and I wait close to the door, but out of the walk way so we aren't in anyone's way. Our friend walks off and finds the man he is looking for. We watch them talk and laugh. We have no clue what they are saying as we continue to watch them talk.
After only five minutes he had returned. A big smile is on his face. He had gotten it. We had wanted it and we had found someone to supply it. To his truck we walk. I am in front passenger seat. One friend behind me, one friend to left of me. The keys are placed in the ignition and turned. The engine roars to life.
Now here we are. In my buddie's room, just the three of us. This is where it all happens. If there is a gathering its here, if there is a movie we are wanting to watch its in this room, maybe we play a video game in another room, but mostly everything happens in this one room.
Time has started again. We are laughing and joking. My friend pulls it out. He pulls out the first "8 Ball" I have ever seen. At this point I don't know what that means and I don't particularly care. Now it is time for me to learn. I am nervous, I am excited and I just want to try my first snort of "Dragon Slayer." We call it Dragon Slayer so no one will know what we are talking about.
I learn to cut, smash, line and roll. Cut of a piece of Dragon Slayer from the actual 8 Ball we have possession of. We rap the cut piece in a dollar bill and hit it with the bottom of a lighter. Then he takes it out of the bill carefully letting it fall on his table.
"Now cut it again." He says as he takes a card from his wallet and uses the end to turn the Slayer into more powdered form. He takes his card and makes three perfectly straight lines. This whole process had sucked me. I wanted to try it. I wanted to try the whole process myself. He put the powder together again and let me do it while helping me out in places.
I had already been addicted and I haven't even tried it yet. I knew that I would love the process more then I would love the drug its self. All three of us rolled a one dollar bill.
"Don't use anything higher then a one dollar bill." He said. "Its Bad luck."
I listened to him and did as he said, but I wasn't one of those luck makes the world go around type of guys. A dollar bill or a twenty dollar bill. Seemed the same to me, except for value of course. There they were again. 3 perfect lines of white powder on the table. One line for each of us. I was last to go. They both wanted me to watch to see how it was done first.
The one of us who went first paid for the Dragon Slayer. The one who paid was the same guy who stood at the door at the club next to me. He didn't know anyone who was selling it where we were at, but he didn't need to. He had the cash. He put his dollar bill in his nose and let out a breath of air. Put the rolled up bill next to the line and snorted it all his nose. Raised his head up quickly towards the ceiling and enjoyed every second of it. Looked simple enough.
My other body this the same exact process. Now it was my turn. Everything I watched them do, I did. Down to the way they snorted their lines in one snort I did too. The powder rushed up my nose, I raised my head and the powder turned to liquid in my mouth. I swallowed and felt the drip from the back of my nose to my throat. I had done it. I had liked it.
It didn't take an instant, but it didn't take more then maybe five or ten minutes. I was feeling it. I was feeling great. My senses had heightened. I could focus better, I could listen better, I was thinking faster and I was laughing with my friends. I noticed that I could focus and think better then I had ever been able to. I found myself watching a bug. I smacked the wall. When I moved my hand gravity had taken hold of the little creature. Again we laughed.
The other thing I noticed was my heart. My heart was beating faster then ever. My friends worried for me. I thanked them for worrying, but I wasn't scared. Usually it was the people who weren't scared that overdosed and died. That wouldn't be me. I was smarter then that. See I have known people in my life to believe that nothing bad couldn't happen to them. That nothing that bad would ever cause them a great level of serious harm. I knew different.
While most people are high and loving life and enjoying themselves that is all they think about. Really what everyone needs to know is when your having that much fun, when you are at a point when pain can't stop you simply cause you can't feel it, when you are at a point where even when something is wrong and it can't bring you down, is when it is to good to be true.
I thought about this. I studied it. In front of me was nothing but fun. However unlike everyone else I felt it. Unlike everyone you see in the movies, unlike my friends around me I knew that something was watching me. This something was waiting for me to make a wrong move. I was happy to disappoint it. After snorting and having fun for probably about 8-12 hours (who can keep track of the time when your having fun drinking, dancing, and now binging.) I went to my room.
I stayed in bed for thirty minutes and could not sleep. I got up and cleaned my whole room. I cleaned until I could no longer clean. That only had taken me forty five minutes. I was at a point where I was no longer comfortably numb. It wasn't quite pain so much as my body telling me that the drug was being cleaned from my system. Pain is what it felt like though. I now legally new what a with drawl felt like. I could imagine how much worse it is for someone who had been doing it for longer
periods of time. Three hours later I was able to sleep.
We had ended up doing it two more times after the first. More people involved both times. Still both times I had wanted to crush, cut and make the lines and so I did. We had fun. Both times I came down when we were finished. They had talked about going to buy more. I had talked them out of it. I didn't feel like we needed to continue. We had had our fun.
I went on vacation for a couple weeks. I came back. Turns out my friends had gone on a week to almost two week binge. I was worried for them. How long would they had kept going had I not come back? I was glad I wouldn't know the answer to that question. They of course thought of it as no big deal. Telling me they had done it before. Which to me means they had almost died before.
Weeks or months later I was getting ready for the next part of my job. When I was a day out one of two of my buddies had overdosed. Found out the morning I was leaving. I still left, but I knew he was in good hands. Found out he went to a different level. He was using needles. He felt so good that he didn't think of the negative effects. I am glad he is still alive. Though I do not know what he has been up to.
When I think about it now its not just the drugs you can be addicted to. Really as I think about it now its not the drugs your really addicted to in the first place. It is the feeling. How good or different it makes you feel. Maybe its the way in which you do it or maybe its everything you have to do before that gets you into it in the first place. For example getting the Slayer ready and snorting was my favorite part. The feeling felt good too, but I knew it wasn't going to last.
I guess the moral of this story is to much of a good thing is really a bad thing. I know your going to say that it will never happen to you, but I also know that it wont be you who will be finding out that you were wrong. The people around you are going to be the ones who find out your not immortal. Don't be the message, spread the message. Drug Free is the way to be.
The next thing that will be said is "I do legal drugs." It is true that there is nothing illegal about drinking. I still throw back a few myself. However even drugs that are legal can have the same effects. All I can say to you is don't abuse the legal drug in which you consume. Alcohol and prescription drugs aren't something to be playing around with. Responsibility is a big key in the game of life. One wrong move and game over.
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